The Magic Computer by Karl Kramer

"JACK, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND HELP MOM!" Jack was used to this treatment from his daughter and walked into the kitchen to see both his daughter and wife staring at him. The kitchen was a mess and the groceries had to be put away so Jack got started right away. The women then left Jack alone and he savored every minute of it. He took his time and finished all the work so he could try to talk to his son Jack Jr. The young man spent all the time in his room and Jack forgot what he looked like.

The door opened and his obese son stuck his hand out and said nothing. "Aren't you going to at least say hi to your old man?" Jack then took out a few $20 bills and the hand was still out there. He gave the young man some more money and before he could say anything the door slammed shut. Jack then went to his old hobby of writing as he watched his DVD collection Tales of the Darkside and loved the episode about a computer that could alter a persons family. Jack wished he had one and soon heard a knock on the door.

"Jack! I just got this item at an online auction for a great price. I figured you are a writer and would like it. It is the computer used on the show Tales From the Darkside." Jack saw it was his brother Henry who was always buying something interesting. "I did hear this also has a spell or curse depending how you look at it. I don't believe in such nonsense, but I was thinking they forgot your birthday again." Jack was going to protest he was too old to celebrate birthdays, but he then heard a crash coming from his son's room and accepted the present.

"Henry, my nieces are younger than Jack Jr and my daughter yet they are both living on their own. How did you manage to get them to leave?" Henry started to laugh when he saw Jack was serious. "Jack Jr is only 28 or so isn't he?" Jack mumbled the age and Henry asked him to speak up. "I said he is 35 years old and Princess is 33." Henry then took out the computer and gestured toward it.

"I will tell you to watch what you wish for as you may get it." Henry left after that advise and Jack immediately plugged in the computer and typed in the sentence: I have a wife and a son and daughter. He deleted it and looked around his den to see nothing had changed. He then got up and checked his son's door and didn't hear a noise. When he opened it he saw it was a guest room with some of his books in the room. He then checked his daughter's room and saw it was the same. He found no traces of his wife and was quite happy to be alone.

Jack had always wanted to do father and son things with Jack Jr and he was always mother centered growing up. Jack then called his old friend up who had two sons and asked him how it was when they were growing up. He got a glowing review of how wild but fun those boys were as they kept him on his toes. Jack then typed the following sentence in his computer: I have a lovely wife named Jane and two wild and wooly teenaged sons named Tommy and Timmy.

There was silence as he entered the sentence and then looked at Jack Jr's old room to see it had bunk beds and the walls were covered with posters. He then heard the door burst open and two voices started yelling at each other. Jack rushed in to see a man his age yelling at the teenager "You knocked up my daughter you little bastard and your father is going to pay for this." Another teenage boy ran in the house yelling the cops were after him and he was going to hide.

Jack looked to find a phone number of his wife and when he called was met with a stern male voice. "Jack, we told you time and time again after the divorce you are not to bother us. Do we have to file another restraining order against you? Your wife left you for me and it is time for you to accept it." Jack then ran to the computer and typed in the sentence: I have a lovely wife named Jane and two wild and wooly teenaged sons named Tommy and Timmy. He then hit delete just like on the TV show and nothing happened.

Jack then received a phone call from Henry. "Jack, I just found out once you type something in the computer and enter it, you cannot delete it. I hope you can pick a good family to replace those monsters Tommy and Timmy along with that unfaithful wife of yours Jane. You know the old saying watch what you wish for you may get it!" Jack just stood there as he saw the cops chase after his one son and the father of the girl start screaming at him to castrate his son.

Jack then typed in the sentence: My name is Jack and I have two sons and a wife named Jane. He then hit delete and disappeared as the boys were being chased throughout the home.